The Eight Ball [8Ball]

Yup, Auckland still, Parnell baby! Keeping up a nice 6 month or less at any one location I am on my 8th city since april 2008 and 10th address, this-time-though I might stick around, finally unpacked my previous life that I had in boxes from before I left for the UK (the first time).

It’s a pretty weird feeling seeing things that were boxed up in october 2007, a flood of emotion – good/bad. It was a difficult period of time in my little life as it was the ending of a long term relationship and the beginning of a great adventure, a number of items were joint (take a hand written recipe book) which I quite enjoyed flicking through remembering the good parts of the relationship. This takes me to the deep relisation that our lives are brief moments squished together with some relating and others completely outside of normal living circumstances. I would love to be back to the house I/we had in 07 with all the gear (mostly sold or given away) but the reality is I am sitting in a different one with new and different objects surrounding me, objects which mean very different things to the ones that were in the boxes, perhaps even these objects from a former life are irrelevant to my new one.

The past few years have been a blur of experiences, a massive amount of them are ones that I will not have the pleasure of having again and others that frankly I’m glad I wont have too but they all make up the new character that J has become. Normality has sets back in and I am actually enjoying it, owning a car, buying useful items, not having to worry about being able to carry everything I own. These things are settling to the mind.

Perhaps what I am saying is that today I feel like the book of the past few years has closed and a new opened. I think and plan in 6 month chunks with an overlaying 2 year focus (and a master life ideology above that) the last 2 year period is finished, bring on the new one

Actual street names removed in case someone actually executes this well thought out Burglary plan!

Everyone loves Google maps but not as much as your garden variety burglar.  In the past they had to engage in the risky practise of scoping out properties security and entry/exit points to plan their burglary operations.  Now they have a birds eye view of every property in their town.  They can perfectly plan their burglaries, available blind spots, whether they can 3 point turn their Burgle Van™ or whether they should use the Getaway Car™ option and burgle on foot and charge down a bank or some such with the loot.

Thanks Google!

Figures were released in NZ today stating that NZ tax payers spent NZ$6.3 million on inmates wages last year, a figure that the general public is supposed to find quite startling considering many current prisoners victims are currently out of pocket because of that individual’s actions.

People are asking the question, “Why are we paying prisoners at all?! They should work for free!”.  And yes maybe they should but unfortunately even prison is driven by economic and market forces.  Sure there are some people in this world that would rather be working than being stuck inside all day bored out of their skulls but then there are a lot more who would rather do that than work for nothing!  This is New Zealand remember!  People are suggesting that we follow the same model as the UK and not give prisoners a wage during their first sentence 3rd.  Good luck with that in NZ!  Those inmates would simply find a reason NOT to work until they were able to get paid.

Remember we’re not talking a lot of money here.  Most jobs in the prison only pay about 5c an hour, the most trusted and longest hours ones can pay up to 40c an hour.  This is usually only JUST enough to buy a 50g pouch of tobacco for the week, something that an inmate with no friends of family would quite likely work very hard for to ensure they continue to be able to afford it.  Most of these jobs are limited so if the inmate doesn’t do it well there are plenty of guys lining up to take their place.  But on the same token, if this job wasn’t paid they’d sooner stay at their unit and play table tennis and chess all day instead.

So to address the 6.3 million we paid in their wages.  What this does not consider at all, is how vertically integrated our NZ prison system is and how by paying the inmates to perform all the duties of the prison to enable them to be almost entirely self sufficient, the prison has the luxury of spending almost no money at all outside the prison.  How many UK prisons have to buy IN the food to feed their prisoners?  How much does it cost to feed their prisoners in a year compared to their wage costs?  In NZ, about the only things you feed a prisoner that aren’t produced at one of the prisons are condiments such as butter and jam and dishes such as pasta, weet bix and porridge.  All the fruit, vegetables and meats are cultivated on site and processed by the inmates for a fraction of the cost of paying a commercial company to do so or by purchasing it wholesale.

Let’s face it, most NZ inmates are there because they broke the law because they’re too lazy and uneducated to make an honest living.  How are they going to reintegrate back into society eventually if our prisons refuse to pay them to learn a trade?  They’ll be bums in prison and when they get out, they’ll re-offend because they still haven’t learned anything to allow them to make a living without crime.

About 6 weeks back in the height of summer having already laid down a brew of beer with Nez that it was time to see just how easy it was to do the same with Cider. Conversations with various people led me to the simplest recipe imaginable:

• 1.5kgs Apples
• 5.7L Purified or Boiled Water
• 1kg White Sugar
• 3 Lemons
• (I added a fresh Nectarine off the tree outside)

Tools:

• Couple of Buckets
• Muslin Cloth (had to substitute a tea towel)
• Plastic Bottles
• Time

Read more…

Not long ago young fyx returned from his overseas adventure and started looking for work back in NZ. On finding work his workplace laid down a challenge. The Big Mac Challenge.

On large Big Mac Combo blended into a lumpy, fatty, meaty thick shake. He completed this task in approximately 8 minutes.

Upon hearing about his effort I and other decided we wanted to better that time because ‘that sounded easy’. So the day after the Big Day Out Nez and I grew some grapefruits and did it. Here is the documentary  hacked together by me for all those who didnt witness this event:

The Big Mac Challenge from Aaron Armstrong on Vimeo.

Drinking games begin with a tower that we are all use too, jenga + each brick is an action — let’s say a brick is drink once or nominate two, plenty of random ones as well like name genie or chin master. There is enough various bricks to bring hours of enjoyment for many.

Baron, Nez, and xyf are cranking it thanks to custom creation skills of baron.

See live on C4 starting round 11am. Will try a spot of live blogging for a laugh

12:08 – J – Leaving the mighty tron

13:51 – AA – just smashed back Wendys, time to hit the party!

15:11 – AA – So ends up I know to bring the weather to events… pearler! Midnight Yourh on stage… four summits in hand.

15:46 – J – Beers are following in only what can be called the biggest fcuk up of weather reporting ever seen in NZ

16:15 – J – Kora up, New Zealand rep. Place is really packing out and we have a shortland street person rocking our 3 seats away.

16:36 – AA – Kora is going off! Mean Maori mean! But this sunshine is even better… plus a lazy convo about jizz as sunblock with Sophie from Shortland Streets mate… classic!

16:44 – J – When is speight’s summit become 4%?

17:01 – AA – aparently you’re allowed to smoke illegal drugs, but your not allowed to annoy people with a water pistol… dude got ejected! Arse!

17:49 – AA – Powderfinger have been as good as they could be… average… Dizzee bout to kick in, but J and I both agree… womans fashion ia the winner. See through bras and singlets that reach the hips… WHAMMY!!!

18:45 – AA – Just discovered the best portaloo ever.. well used by the team:

19:00 – AA – yup:

19:05 – AA – Its like Hati but at the BDO! Too soon?

19:10 – AA – Beer rubish angel?

20:13 – J – at some point the random chatter begins withs complete strangers, music is still loud but rocking, beers are being limited, night is coming.

20:17 – J – Gin rocking the stage

20:48 – J – Ok it is getting dark and Gin is cranking it. Acts to follow are Muse and Fear Factory!

21:12 – J – 80’s party!!!

21:15 – J – foregoing Muse for some HLAH action!

21:30 – J – Drunking or druged crazy chick next to us. Serioulsy have a friend so you are not some mental loner! Jepers!

21:50 – J – HLAH

22:10 – J – HLAH know how to represent NZ rock, raggge.

22:33 – J – Fear… What?… fear who…. Fear Fac…. Tor…. Y.

22:38 – J – Isnt it funny how all photos of band look the same! Here is another, Fear Factory styles.

23:32 – J – omg it’s all over! No voice, walking in a sea of other cattle to escape to our automobile. Perhaps some wendys for the long ride home?

00:03 – J – As per usual traffic is one word — Nitemare. Without a doubt the guy who let us park in his area is the man spending the entire time at his post till we returned… 11hrs later.

00:50 – J – Mc Donalds at 1am, not exactly the perfect eatting plan, on route to the tron, yus!

02:00 – J – Home with 3% iPhone battery to spare

Common behaviour for a drunk Kiwi

Yes, don’t we all just love Public Holidays.  Here in NZ we certainly need them, we don’t have 25 of them like Brazil do so the few we do have we really like to make the most of and get out there and do what we love doing best, binge drinking that is (for the majority anyway).  Sometimes these inebriated souls take a moment to remember why they’re getting an extra day off to get tanked but let’s me honest, most of them are just stoked they have a free paid day off to get absolutely trolleyed Friday, Saturday AND Sunday night and feel sorry for themselves on Monday while they look forward to a shortened four day working week.

Usually on the NZ calendar we have ten public holidays, ten holy days for us to look forward to shorter weeks and more time to spend with our friends, mammals, families and philanthropods.  This year however, there is a slight change.  As some of our public holidays aren’t fixed on certain days of the week ANZAC Day and Waitangi day land on a weekend and we do not get a day off for them at all!  I for one will NOT be celebrating their causes this year.

In fact, poor old Waitangi day, that sacred day of the year when every NZ’er gets to dress up like what every other country in the world thinks we look like every day, in grass skirts and crazy face paint (like a cat maybe???) along with pointy weapons, will not be celebrated by giving us a day off until 2012!!  So all of you that were hoping to get your freak on this Waitangi day, prancing around the street like some native warrior on the Monday you’ll be very upset to know that you’ll have to do this on your own time during that weekend or just sod it all like I probably will. 

Most NZ'ers dress like this daily

So before you yet again go into your, “Well at least it’s not so bad at the start of the year cos you get a few four day weeks to ease you back in…” speech, be suitably depressed and think again.  From our last official Public Holiday on 4 January we have 63 continuous business days with weekends before we get our next national day off!